Game of Thrones Season 7, The Spoils of War

dragonfireYou know there will be Spoilers, so if you haven’t watched up to the third and fourth episode don’t bother reading any of this.

Episode 3 of Season 7, The Queen’s Justice was about conversations and filling in little empty information holes, and connecting the dots. It might have seemed a wee bit quieter than usual, but it was all about taking care of loose ends and opening paths up for specific story-lines.

Olenna Tyrell owns this episode in true GOT style. She performs the ultimate mic drop on Jaime Lannister. The Lannister army has taken Highgarden and Olenna wants to know whether Jaime will take off her head or make her do the walk of shame in front of Cersei. Jaime being the gentleman that he is decides to give her an almost painless poison. She is an old lady and deserves a simple death, right?  *Snort* Granny Tyrell drinks the poison and decides to tell Jaime all about how she poisoned his son Joffrey.

“Whatever I imagined necessary for the safety of House Tyrell, I did. But your sister has done things I wasn’t capable of imagining.That was my prize mistake. A failure of imagination. She’s a monster, you do know that? Must have been horrible for you as a Kingsguard, as a father. It was horrible enough for me, a shocking scene. Not at all what I intended. You see, I had never seen the poison work before. Tell Cersei. I want her to know it was me.”

I am surprised he didn’t change his mind and lop her head off instead, but no Jaime just leaves her and walks out of the room. Olenna Tyrell definitely won the internet last Monday with that move. She will be sadly missed. I wonder whether Cersei will accept this or will she still blame Tyrion for the death of her beloved psycho son?

Varys and Melisandre have a tête-à-tête. After bringing Dany and Jon together Melisandre decides to leave, but not before giving Varys fair warning of his own possible demise. It will be interesting to see what role the Lord of Light plays in the future, if any at all.

I’ve done my part, I’ve brought Ice and Fire together. I will return my Spider, one last time.  I have to die in this strange country…just like you.

Jon asks Dany to help defeat the White Walkers, of course she is less interested in tales of fantasy and more interested in his Bending the Knee. She relents when it comes to letting the King of the North mine the dragon-glass for weapons, and yet even when Jon shows her proof that the Children of the Forest and the First Men fought together against the White Walkers, she still demands that he Bend the Knee.

Southerners just have no real clue about the stubbornness of Northerners. They would rather could off the knee than bend it. Jon does try to explain this, but Dany isn’t exactly a great listener.

I have to admit I am a little impatient to see the Targaryen connections become evident and be out in the open. I want someone to have an epiphany or a dragon moment. Something! Anything! Please someone tell Jon who his parents are already.

I suppose Bran will have to do that in his very ‘I am an automaton pretending to be a human’ way. Bran’s non-reactions and weird behaviour have been a topic of conversation in our house. I am of the ‘dude can’t act for shit’ opinion, and my son says ‘mother, he is the three-eyed-raven not Bran any more what do you expect?’ Arrgh, his freaky ass monotone seemingly random statements are just annoying at this point.

Littlefinger gives Bran the dagger made of Valyrian steel, which was used to try and kill Bran after his fall from the tower. Apparently Robert Baratheon won it from Littlefinger in a game. We know Littlefinger told Catelyn that it belonged to Tyrion, so she believed the Lannisters tried to kill Bran.

Bran gives the dagger to Arya, who later shows off her tiny assassin ninja fighting skills in a sparring match with Brienne. It makes Sansa see Arya in a different light, and Littlefinger is keeping an eye on her. I wonder if Arya remembers something about Littlefinger. She was watching him as if he was soon to be one of her infamous list. All seeing and all knowing Bran gave her the dagger which means he must have foreseen a moment where she will need the special weapon.

Euron brings Cersei Ellaria and tyene, and as he basks in the glory he hopes will get some nookie from the Queen. Cersei is kinda like ‘yeh sure lovaboy, after I get what I want’ and we all know how duplicitous she can be. So Euron decides to have a dig at Jaime instead, and I have to say Nikolaj Coster-Waldau does the best ‘omg did he just say finger up the bum’ face, as if it was a complete surprise

Listen if you have any advice at all I’d love to hear it. Does she like it gentle or rough or a finger in the bum?

Personally I think her revenge is rather perfect, although I did expect something more violent. A present for the Mountain perhaps? Instead she chains mother and daughter to opposite sides of a cell. Close enough to see every tear and hear every scream but not close enough to help or give each other comfort. Cersei gives Tyene the same kind of Kiss of Death her daughter Myrcella received. Ellaria will have to watch her die slowly in pain, and then spend the rest of her days watching her body rot.

Let’s talk tactical manoeuvres for a second. Why, well because Jaime and Cersei handed Dany and Tyrion their asses in episode 3 The Queen’s Justice. I think it is easy to forget, amongst all the crazy lady shit, incestuous romps and general insanity that Cersei and Jaime are Lannisters, and that they have been schooled by one of more ruthless leaders in GOT. Tywin Lannister aka died on the porcelain throne.

Not only did they pre-empt the Greyjoy and Dorne advance on King’s Landing, where Euron made mincemeat of the opposing Iron fleet, and scared Theon into jumping overboard. Although to be fair the biggest chicken in the Seven Kingdoms did mention to Jon Snow that he wants to save his sister Yara. Surprisingly Theon once again escapes death, because Jon knows he helped Sansa to escape from the completely insane Bolton bastard. I digress.

The Lannisters also foresee the taking of Casterly Rock by the Unsullied. They clear out all the troops except a few suicidal volunteers, and all the supplies, then Euron burns down all the ships they just arrived on. This leaves the Unsullied no other option than to advance towards the Lannister army via land, with no exit strategy or to stay at Casterly Rock and starve.

Gotta hand it to the twins, that is one smart move, and as Dany rightly points out, one that Tyrion should have been able to foresee. Is he secretly trying to save his siblings, perhaps subconsciously or even consciously working against the Dragon Queen?

Her failures lead Dany to question the advice her Hand has been giving and to turn to Jon Snow of all people, but hey like the true Targaryen she does what she wanted to do in the first place, which is to fly her own dragon into battle and burn everyone in sight.

It is the moment we have all been waiting for, the use of a dragon as a fully loaded weapon. It is nothing less than spectacular. In the midst of it all Jamie maintains his positive attitude, sort of ‘how much damage can this creature really do?’ Then watches with his mouth open as said creature incinerates the Lannister troups…oh and the gold Cersei needs to pay back the Iron Bank. I’m sure Granny Tyrell is laughing in her grave right now.

In true cliffhanger style we see Tyrion watch Jaime make the decision to storm the dragon in an attempt to kill Dany. That’s right ahead straight into the mouth of a dragon on horseback, because we all know this is going to end really well.

Meanwhile Bron has lost his own battle of trying to shoot down the dragon with a huge crossbow and has escaped the barbecue by inches. Just before Jaime is torched by the dragon we see him tackled by someone, I presume and hope it is Bron, and thrown into the water. We see Jaime drifting unconscious to the bottom of the sea.

So, is he dead? Is Bron dead? I personally don’t think so, mainly because I still think he may be the one who ends up killing Cersei. Jaime that is, not Bron. The probability of both Bron and Jaime becoming prisoners of Dany is pretty high, which then leaves Tyrion with a bit of a conundrum doesn’t it. Remember when Jaime helped Tyrion escape, despite the fact he thought at that moment in time that Tyrion might have been involved in killing Joffrey. With Jaime gone will that set Cersei completely over the edge? Will she have no other choice than to accept Euron because she lacks an army and her allies are dwindling. The majority of the Lannister army are impersonating burnt pop tarts, so she is in need of a healthy alliance.

Unfortunately there are only three more episodes left in this season and then we will have to wait an entire year for the next one again. I do think they will be absolutely epic episodes though!

Read more about Game of Thrones right here on the blog, Dragonstone and StormbornAre you ready for Season 7Game of Thrones Dead or AliveGame of Thrones Et Tu, Olly?Game of Thrones Rise of the Dead, Game of Thrones Bend the KneesGame of Thrones Bite of The Littlest Lannister Lion42 Game of Thrones Chrome ThemesGame of Thrones The Little Lannister Lion Roars, Game of Thrones The Red Viper BitesGame of Thrones Historical and Geographical Influences, Game of Thrones Here There Be Dragons, What makes Game of Thrones so compelling?, George R R Matin Doesn’t hate the Starks or Winter is coming to a desktop near you.

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