Are you ready for Season 7 Game of Thrones?

season 7.jpgThe start of season 7 is almost upon us, and I don’t know about you lot, but I can’t wait for the dragon filled gory tv extravaganza to start up again.

Before the season premiere I thought it would be a great idea to recap or rather to gather all the GOT posts on the GMX blog and perhaps ponder on what lies ahead. Everyone knows I like the pondering, especially when there is a world wide web of fan theories to choose from.

Unfortunately this is going to be a short season though. Hopefully they will fit even more great drama into the few episodes.

So let’s gossip.. Where the fuck is Gendry? Like come on mate, you can only row your boat so fecking far. Is Sansa going to give in to sneaky snakeface Littlefinger in his attempt to take the Iron Throne for himself? We all know that isn’t going to end well. I don’t think he comprehends how much Sansa has been changed by her time with the bastard Bolton. Watch this space.

Will Cersei finally lose the plot completely and put Jamie in the awkward position of supporting his love or saving the people around them? Could he be pushed to the brink and kill her?

Will Jon Snow finally be given an annual subscription to ancestry com and find out who his real parents are, and will the Targaryens stand together to defeat their common enemies? Will the two of them follow tradition and have an incestuous relationship?  Speaking of kissing cousins, will the King of Spin turn out to be the illegitimate progeny of King Aerys, which makes him yet another Targaryen. Remember when he sweet-talked the dragons. Omg the potential this triumvirate has, they could blow all of them out of the water.

What makes Game of Thrones so compelling?

‘But what makes Game of Thrones so terribly compelling? Let’s face it, we’re addicted and we can’t stop watching. Even book fans are loyal viewers and we already know what’s going to happen. So why do we tune back in, year after year? The reasons are many and varied; but if I had to choose only one, I would have to say that the story is just so good we can’t not watch.

Martin weaves characters and events so skillfully into the fantasy world he’s created it’s easy to take it for granted. Readers wondered how the books, so artfully written and carefully crafted, would translate to the television medium and, honestly, some of us were worried. Not everything carries over well, not even arguable masterpieces, and HBO seems to have an even record of hits and misses. However, the first season was a record-breaking success. While some people fell in love with Martin’s world for the first time, readers like me fell in love all over again. It was a win-win.’

George R.R. Martin doesn’t hate the Starks and he doesn’t hate you either

‘I understand your discontent and upset. After “The Rains Of Castamere” you’re probably convinced Martin has it out for Starks and readers alike, but nothing could be further from the truth. The Red Wedding is a harsh dose of reality injected into this fantasy epic; breaking the hospitality rule of safe board and bread has been done many times throughout history. The Massacre of Glencoe comes to mind (with a handy link for those of you who aren’t history buffs) when almost forty Clan MacDonald guests were slaughtered for not pledging their allegiance to the new monarchs. Many women and children died from exposure afterward as their homes were burnt as well. That’s just one reference in history. There are many more. Because, my friends, this shit happens.’

Game of Thrones Season 4: The Little Lannister Lion Roars

‘Not that killing off Joffrey is a tragedy, in fact I am glad someone finally had the balls to rid the world of the boy most likely to become a sadistic serial killer. I had my own list of suspects with Cersei, Tywin and Grandma Tyrell at the top, so Littlefinger came as a bit of a surprise.’

Game of Thrones Season 4: The Red Viper Bites and the Mountain Crumbles

‘Let’s just look at the odds before we take bets and rage with anger or weep in despair at the possible outcome of the most poignant, brutal and intricate combat scene up to this point, shall we.

The Mountain weighs in at 420 lbs and is 6 foot 9 in. (played by Hafþór Júlíus Björnsson an Icelandic strongman competitor). He is known for his violent, malicious and bloodthirsty ways, and that doesn’t even include his actions in battle. There is no emotion other than a need and a want to kill and destroy. No wonder he is a perfect pick to fight in Cersei’s corner.’

Game of Thrones Season 4 Finale: The Bite of the Littlest Lannister Lion

‘The moment I have been waiting for has finally arrived, Tyrion goes all Bugsy Malone in a terribly gentlemanly fashion, as is his wont. Brother Jamie turns up to save the day and enlightens Tyrion to the escape plan and route devised by himself and Varys.

Tyrion isn’t quite finished yet though and instead of heading off to safety he decides to go looking for dear old daddy. He is, as you can imagine, upset to find Shae in his father’s bed. She is lingering in the afterglow of a Lannister booty call and thinks she hears her lion approaching.’

More gossipy theories:

Is Jon Snow the Azor Ahai, the Warrior of Light? According to the Red Witch Azor Ahai will have the blood of a dragon (Targaryen) and be reborn in smoke and salt. This theory is almost a necessity when it comes to fighting the White Walkers.

If you were paying attention during the whole Hodor holds the door episode you might have seen the whole time-space-continuum ‘Bran thinks he is Dr Who’ incident. Begs the question what came first the chicken or the egg or in this case, did Bran actually cause everything, as opposed to it being an accident. And if he knows what is coming is he the one who went back in time and made sure the Wall was built? If so, is he going to bring or inadvertently lead the Walkers to victory on the other side of the Wall?

42 Game of Thrones Chrome Themes

Game of Thrones Season 5: Bend the Knee

‘What a way to start off the season, with an epic death scene. Oh wait, they do that all the time. Stannis Baratheon wants the Wildlings to fight alongside his army.

He is willing to offer them freedom and lands, but Mance Rayder must Bend the Knee. Now, if you know anything about the Wildlings or the Northerners, and I am totally including Scotland and the real Northerners in this, you will know they are stubborn, proud and they will bend those fecking knees for no person.’

Game of Thrones Season 5: The Rise of the Dead

‘Gotta tell ya, I was really annoyed at Reek aka Theon. I know he has had the sap sucked right out of him, and he has become the minion to the dark lord of fetish and flaying. I know his trauma induced split personality or rather his slave mentality is ingrained so deeply in him he cannot help but act in fear of punishment. It still sucks for Sansa that Reek is such a wet blanket.

And yet, inside me there is still or was still a slither of hope. A faint glimmer of light in the depths of dirt and despair, that a spark of the old Theon may still be in there somewhere. Then again old Theon was a bit of a twerp. I haven’t completely given up on my conspiracy theory about Theon and Yara sending each other coded eye signals, when she was trying to rescue him, but ended up retreating like a nipple on a cold day.’

Game of Thrones Season 5 Finale: Et Tu, Olly?

‘Echoes of the death of Julius Caesar were seen and heard in the last scene of season five. Jon Snow is betrayed by the Night’s Watch and by his steward Olly, who lures him to his death in the courtyard of Castle Black. Ser Alliser and his gang of merry assassins surround the Lord Commander and stab him one by one.

For the Watch (stab), For the Watch (stab), For the Watch (stab)…

The final blow and insult is delivered by the young boy Jon had taken under his wing. Perhaps Jon and Sam should have paid more attention to the anti-Wildling propaganda and pro-Alliser shite he has been spouting in the last few weeks,You know what they say, keep your friends close and your enemies closer. Such a pity Olly took it more to heart or rather Jon was just too trusting to see beyond the poor orphan routine.’

Even more theories:

I kinda like myself a wee bit of Jorah, so I am hoping they find a way to heal the Greyscale. Will the Clegane brothers finally have their highly anticipated fight to the death?

Will Littlefinger try and forge forces with psycho Cersei. He has the power of the Vale behind him, so technically the two of them could build a huge army.

Euron Greyjoy has a horn called a dragon-binder. Could this potentially mean he could control one of the dragons, which could make all the difference in a battle situation.

Will Sam Tarly find the key to defeating the Walkers?

Game of Thrones: Historical and Geographical Influences

Game of Thrones: Here There be Dragons

Game of Thrones Season 6: Dead or Alive?

‘Tyrion figures out that to maintain control they have to somehow get the dragons on their side. They have stopped eating and are in danger of wasting away. He decides to release them. Sounds so simple until Tyrion realises it means walking up to them and literally taking the fire-breathing creatures off or out of the chains.

Did anyone else wonder why they didn’t eat short stuff? He just walks up to them, strokes their scales, gives them a pep talk and takes the screws out of their chains. Tyrion says they are highly intelligent animals, but that seemed entirely too easy. Could he be part Targaryen? Now that would be a cool shift in the plot. Tyrion, Father of Dragons. Second Cousin of Dragons perhaps?’

Game of Thrones Season  6: Mother of Dragons, Queen of Fire  ‘Just when you think Daenerys has gone a wee bit soft and has somehow become as unremarkable as moss growing on the side of a tree, she goes all thug-life again. Damn, that girl has balls bigger than mountains, and they are pure brass. Hear them clang.

I was hoping for a call to dragons, not that Drogon would turn up though, he is way to busy eating sheep and toasting children. Possibly even a hidden stash of soldiers. I wasn’t expecting her to go all Carrie and fire-starter to eliminate the threat, but I have to admit it was great TV. Thus establishing herself as a genuine threat to her enemies and gaining an army of Dothraki in one foul swoop. Mother of Dragons, Queen of Fire’

Game of Thrones Season 6: Hold the Door

‘Will the simple question or request to Hold the Door ever be perceived, heard or reacted to in quite the same way after Hodor’s demise? Will any of us be able to hold open a door without feeling the breath of a White Walker upon our necks and seeing Hodor ripped to shreds, as he endeavours to save his friends?

It was heart-wrenchingly sad, and yet at the same time an absolutely epic moment in the Game of Thrones series. I have to admit to shedding a tear. Not so much at adult Hodor holding the door, but more so as young Wylis screams the words that slowly meld into the only word he will ever say again. Hold the Door, Hold the Door, Hold the Door, Holde door, Holdedor, Hodor….’

Game of Thrones Season 6: I’m Going Home

‘Jon has the same issues with the Wildlings. He has trouble convincing them that they have a common goal. The White Walkers won’t differentiate between north, south and wild when it comes to killing. Luckily he has Tormund on his side.

The crows killed him, because he spoke for the free folk. No other southerners would. He died for us. If we are not willing to do the same for him we’re cowards. If that’s what we are we deserve to be the last of the free folk.

It takes the giant to settle the diplomatic discussion between the fur-toting wild-haired people from beyond the wall. A simple ‘Snow’ suffices as the huge being stomps off. Obviously less is more in such an important debate. Then again I wouldn’t want to disagree with someone the size of a small mountain either.’

Game of Thrones Season 6: The King in the North and the Queen of the Andals

‘They surround Jon, his men and the ever growing pile of dead bodies in the middle of the battlefield. The men find themselves attacked from the front and the back with no possibility of escape. They are being hounded together into an even smaller space in an attempt to make them incapable of fighting.These scenes are fabulous, you can see Jon’s men understand the desperation of their situation and yet they still fight on regardless.

Jon stumbles as the men are pushed back by the spears and shields. He falls and is nearly trampled to death. The dead bodies surround him as he slowly starts to suffocate under the weight of the men around him. What a way to go.’

It is going to be absolutely epic. Definitely watch this space as Season 7 unfolds…

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