You didn’t really think I had forgotten Games of Thrones, right? Not bloody likely! We are only two episodes into the sixth season and I think they may have managed to break the Internet after last nights episode.
We finally get an answer to the question on everyone’s lips. Is Jon Snow dead? Is he going to stay dead? Will he be resurrected or perhaps rise like a phoenix from the ashes? Believe you me I have read, heard and discussed a load of crazy theories since the Shakespearean exit in Season 5. Et tu, Brute?
Talking about it is the best part of Game of Thrones, aside from watching it of course. I can’t tell you how often our family will wade into the conspiracy theories, the book and the television plots. Is Jon Snow half Targaryen and half Warg? Is Tyrion Dany’s half brother? Oh yes, we go there, all the way.
The first episode was slow and deliciously torturous, ending with a a scene, which had social media users creating some wickedly funny memes. Melisandre loses faith in herself and the Lord of Light. She later confesses to Davos that it was all an act. Her visions fake, her supposed magic a farce. She takes off her mask and exposes the real Melisandre.
Needless to say this scene was the cause of great hilarity, especially in the Twittersphere. It left the majority of us wondering ‘What about Jon?’ If the Red Witch bricks it who is going to bring back Jon Snow? Forget the whole wrinkly dame got plenty of game aspect of the episode.
Davos and the merry band of Jon Snow supporters, all five of them, are locked in a room in Castle Black protecting Jon Snow’s corpse. He is convinced this isn’t the end of the road for Jon. Yeh, him and the rest of the world. Get in line mate.
At this rate the characters are dropping like flies and if they keep it up there won’t be anyone left standing to sit on the damn Iron Throne. The deaths have been brutal, bloodthirsty and vicious. The Sand Snakes are in the middle of a coup, and quite a few households will be burying their masters this season.
The scene with Walda Frey, baby Bolton and Ramsay…. well I almost couldn’t look. Almost. I was just whispering to the screen ‘Don’t give him the baby, don’t give him the baby…don’t follow him into the dog cages.’ Daft bat, it’s Ramsay for fecks sake. What did she think he was going to do? Bake a cake and knit the new Bolton heir some woolly booties?
So now Ramsay is the head of the Bolton household, which spells a lot of trouble for the North. What am I saying, he is a psycho, it means trouble for every single person in each direction. He has actually managed to overtake Cersei as most disliked character. Just between you and me, I kind of like Cersei’s bitchy tenacity.
One of the people he will be after is Sansa, who escaped last season with the artist formerly known as Reek. The two of them are saved by the dynamic duo Brienne and Pod. They are now heading towards Castle Black to seek protection from the Watch and Jon Snow. Little do they know that Snow is as dead as a doorknob. I say they, but Theon decides to head home instead. Not sure he will get the warm welcome he expects now the Lord of the Iron Islands has ‘accidentlly’ fallen to his death.
Meanwhile the other Stark daughter, Arya, is living as a blind beggar girl on the streets of Braavos. Jaqen H’ghar’s sidekick is trying to teach her how to react and act upon the senses she has left. When her will to live and fight returns, so does Jaqen H’ghar.
Who are you? No one.
If a girl says her name a man will let her sleep under a roof tonight.
A girl has no name.
If a girl says her name a man will feed her tonight.
A girl has no name.
If a girl says her name a man will give her eyes back.
A girl has no name.
Jaqen H’ghar, the master of manipulation and control. Luckily Arya has learnt her lesson when it comes to the rules of the Faceless Men, and gives him the answers he wants to hear. We can all still hear the hesitation in her voice though. Arya will never forget who she is.
When we last saw Daenerys she had been unceremoniously dropped in the middle of a field by Drogon, the rebel dragon with an attitude problem. She has been captured by the Dothraki, who intend to place her royal highness in a retirement home for warrior widows. Apparently they do bingo nights on a Tuesday.
Tyrion figures out that to maintain control they have to somehow get the dragons on their side. They have stopped eating and are in danger of wasting away. He decides to release them. Sounds so simple until Tyrion realises it means walking up to them and literally taking the fire-breathing creatures off or out of the chains.
Did anyone else wonder why they didn’t eat short stuff? He just walks up to them, strokes their scales, gives them a pep talk and takes the screws out of their chains. Tyrion says they are highly intelligent animals, but that seemed entirely too easy. Could he be part Targaryen? Now that would be a cool shift in the plot. Tyrion, Father of Dragons. Second Cousin of Dragons perhaps?
His siblings have been a little quieter for the first two episodes. Jaime returns with Myrcella’s corpse and Tommen refuses to let his mother near the funeral. This leads to a stand-off between the High Sparrow and Jamie Lannister. During that scene it becomes evident just how dangerous the High Seven really are.The High Septon even boasts of their ability to overthrow a government.
When it comes down to the nitty-gritty they are all the same, regardless of whether they do things in the name of faceless gods, seven whatsits or just plain old God. Power is an aphrodisiac to the man in the suit and the man in the potato sack. No difference at all. Watch this space for the explosion of the ticking time-bomb in King’s Landing.
Jaime convinces Tommen to go and clear the air with his mother. Will the child finally break free of the manipulation? And of course let’s not forgot the ginormous armoured knight following Cersei around. Headsquasher extraordinaire The Mountain is back! Can’t wait to see the confrontation we all know is coming.
One of the highlights of the second episode was seeing Hodor in a completely different capacity. He not only speaks, he also has a name, which makes us wonder just how Willis turned into the Hodor we know. How did he go from a fully functioning young lad to a virtual mute. Is he holding out on us?
I have to hand it to Kit Harington aka Jon Snow, Benioff and Weiss, and anyone else in on the truth. They have managed to keep the fate of this character sealed tighter than a nun’s knicker elastic.
Each and every one of the cast members has had to shield themselves from the prying eyes and inquisitive nature of the media and fans. Even members of the British Royal family were keen to know the truth, and thought they could get Kit to reveal the truth. ‘Are you dead?’ asked Camilla, the Duchess of Cornwall.
Despite the questions, the theories, the badgering and the relentless pursuit of answers by all of us, Harington has remained close lipped about the fate of Jon Snow. Well, until tonight that is. After months of speculation fans were finally given the answer in the last few minutes of the second episode.
Melisandre attempts a half-hearted reanimation of the Lord Commander. I think the wicked witch of the West could have done a better job. Burn a bit of hair, wash off a bit of blood and chant a wee bit of latin sounding Harry Potter spells. No problem. Result: Nada, and a pretty disappointed bunch of necromancers. Ginger Wildling Tormund wasn’t having any of it by the way. He kept side-eying Davos like an unbeliever at a TV evangelist performance. ‘Can we just burn the fecker already like and be done with it?’
As the sorry band of once merry Snow supporters exits the room, all eyes turn to the corpse on the table. Willing him to rise up or just maybe breath a wee bit. Instead we should have been watching the one living creature who would almost certainly know whether or not his Snowness was about to rise from the dead. Ghost lifts his head, turns and moves towards him, as Jon rears up and gasps for breath.
Jon Snow is Alive.
Read more about Game of Thrones right here on the blog. Game of Thrones Et Tu, Olly?, Game of Thrones Rise of the Dead, Game of Thrones Bend the Knees, Game of Thrones Bite of The Littlest Lannister Lion, 42 Game of Thrones Chrome Themes, Game of Thrones The Little Lannister Lion Roars, Game of Thrones The Red Viper Bites, Game of Thrones Historical and Geographical Influences, Game of Thrones Here There Be Dragons, What makes Game of Thrones so compelling?, George R R Matin Doesn’t hate the Starks or Winter is coming to a desktop near you.