The Carroll Bryant "You Don’t Know Me!" Challenge

By Guest Blogger AJ Ward

It was the flu and life as I know it stopped for five days.

There are only so many books to read, movies to watch, people to call, bathroom breaks, naps to take and video games to play before the thrill is gone and that was only day one. Boredom set in. Curiosity got the better of me. But fun with Google search at 2 AM will only take you so far and it’s on to other things.

An unintentional beacon bathed in LED glow, it was Carroll Bryant that called to me. I read that he insists no one knows him. He’s been bullied and judged. That he’s such a great guy. So I thought I’d take the challenge and go see for myself. I got time between bathroom breaks. Why not? And I dove in…

What do you say about a man who’s primary blog is peppered with posts lifted directly from Wikipedia?

David Cassidy, various US Presidents and dry interviews (with himself) populated the sprawling pages of what looked to be a mediocre effort at public relations gone awry.

Does he want me to think he’s smart? Anyone can lift a Wikipedia article. Does he want me to think he’s hip? Stolen posts on David Cassidy and Justin Beiber won’t do much to cement the hip factor here. Does he want me to think he’s knowledgeable? Flags of Mexico, another lifted article, won’t prompt me to replace RefDesk any time soon. Am I supposed to think he’s got family values because he ripped off an article on Santa Claus?

I am confused. There’s nothing impressive here, just the usual blather of bloggers. I get no sense of what this man is about. I don’t know what matters to him. I can’t gauge any clearly defined interests. I must have clicked on twenty links and there’s nothing distinguishing, nothing personal or defining. At this point, I’m wondering who this blog is really written for and about.

The next day, things become a bit clearer. I notice that not only does he post interviews with himself, but he advertises blog articles of his books if he feels they are agreeable, questionable poetry with doctored images of himself, and whole other blogs created just to house such things. Slowly, I’m starting to get it. Not because I’m slow (arguable as I do have the flu) but because the effort is so poorly calculated: Bryant thinks of the internet as one big PR machine. It’s all a game. It’s all about him and he, like Charlie Sheen, is all about winning no matter what it actually costs him.

It costs him, and it’s expensive.

With winners like Spirit Of The Hollidays (Carroll’s Plea To The Goodreads Bullies) and Goodreads Bullies: My Final Defense/Post he couldn’t sound more like a snot-nosed, spurned sixteen year old boy in need of spell check and a large dose of parental supervision if he tried. Such juvenile entries, loaded with passive aggressive sentiment and blatant inconsistencies, are numerous -buried in the guts of what is an otherwise confused blog suffering from a massive identity crisis -and I have to wonder if he realizes how he’s coming across when he’s making these grandiose attempts at damage control.

He plays to himself, often responding to anonymous comments that all sound the same (and a lot like him and his own point of view) to further promote this image he’s been carefully crafting, often desperately and recklessly, since he was outed for lying about who he is. (It seems he told everyone he was a 29 year old man and used a model’s picture as himself without permission, for which he was amply slapped and lost his credibility. You can read about it here.) Like Sheen, he thinks he’s winning and being seen as cool, right or sought-after is what it’s really all about and if the content doesn’t exist, he’ll create it himself.

Anonymous April 6, 2013 at 9:26 AM
I’m confused, I thought you were like 60 or 50 years old Carroll? That’s what all the bullies say. You don’t look a day over 40. Nice smile. 🙂 Are we ever going to find out who the lucky girl is? Is it Jenny? Tell tell tell.

1) Who talks like that? Nobody I’ve ever met and when I don’t have the flu I’m up and about in the world.
2) I’ve never seen any of his detractors claim he was fifty or sixty. They called him on lying to teen-aged girls when he claimed he was 29 and rightly outed him for being a middle-aged man in his forties who looked nothing like the glam pic of the model he stole.
3) Doesn’t look a day over 40? I see a trip to LensCrafters in your future. Please abstain from operating heavy equipment or driving motor vehicles at this time.

This matters. Accuracy counts. if you can’t get it right, you got no credibility. So what does Bryant do? Does he correct any of the lies misinformation presented here? Of course not. After all, he probably typed it – yet more attempts at PR, damage control and ego-stroking – because no one in their right mind is going to tell him he doesn’t look a day over forty when he looks every bit his actual age, even if he can’t seem to find the dignity to act it.

Carroll Bryant April 6, 2013 at 10:02 AM
Yeah, no, you can’t trust what the bullies say about me. They don’t know me. Oh sure, they pretend they do, but they don’t. LOL

Can’t trust what the “bullies” say, huh? Well, those “bullies’ (who turned out to be a bunch of teen girls who were pissed off at being lied to) were right. You’re not 29 and the picture you led everyone to believe was you is a model named Michael. Right there, I am suspicious about everything you say because it’s been proven to me that you lie and, when caught, you only lie more and blame other people for your actions.

I can smile when I want to. Then again, I have a lot to smile about lately.

But look at what happens next -it’s the PR spin in effect, or the best facsimile that Bryant can manage wile trying to look something akin to fake-humble. 

I have a picture post coming up next month with pictures of me off my cam. And some pictures of my trip across America. I also show a picture of my hair proving that I am not bald either. LOL 

Thanks for the comment.

He always seems to have something to prove. Remember the Goodreads is full of Pedos fiasco? Here’s the before and after of how Bryant’s changed it since TeamGenX exposed and reported him.  But the problem’s not his constant knee-jerk response to prove anything he’s pathologically lied about. The problem is that he never proves it. The only thing he actually proves in any of his blogs is that he is not a credible individual, more like a nasty piece of left over chicken nugget in the bottom of the Micky D’s box.

The nauseating self-promotion as a ladies’ man continues into day four.

Anonymous April 6, 2013 at 4:59 PM
Nice to see you happy Carz. You’re not all that bad to look at. lol Gotta luv a guy with nice teeth. very sexy. Why the sunglasses?

Same, disjointed “anonymous” comment set up here but he doesn’t just use the word sexy to describe himself. Oh no, he pronounces himself very sexy. This is not his first attempt at selling that ladies’ man image, as in Disturbia where he also injects pedophilia into the menagerie. How does he respond to his comment set up? Predictably, of course.

Carroll BryantApril 7, 2013 at 10:24 AM
First off, it is always good to be happy. I wish everyone could be as happy as I am.

Look at me, I’m so happy! Nothing wrong here! He can yell it until he’s hoarse it only draws more attention to the fact that something’s very wrong here.

“Not bad to look at?” …. Thanks. I am first to admit I am not photogenic. 

I cringe when Americans try to do the self-deprecating thing. Drop it, the Brits own it. It’s theirs and they got it down to an art form. When Americans do it, they do it badly and it comes off disingenuous at best. When Bryant attempts to pull it it off, it’s like a warning that the Creep Factor’s about to rise significantly.

Healthy teeth equals healthy gums equals healthy life. 

Because quoting your grandfather or dentist is sexy. Beg pardon, very sexy.

Okay, about the sunglasses, over the past year my eyes have mysteriously become extra sensitive to light. 

Like that (snaps fingers) clever boy set himself up to play a vampire next.

Without the sunglasses, I squint all the time and get headaches. I own two pairs of sunglasses. One for when I am out and about, they are just regular sunglasses, and the other pair are reading sunglasses. I use those when I am on the computer or otherwise just reading something. Yes, it is a pain, and there may be a chance that in twenty or thirty years, I could possibly lose half my eyesight. I try to eat a couple of carrots a day. LOL

Another failed attempt to make himself seem more tangible and likable while mooring that Special Snowflake/Gary Stu thing he’s got mixed in with the Messiah/Persecution Complex, and it doesn’t work.

By day five, I got it. This guy wants to be a rock star, know what I mean?

He idolizes girls (while lying to them about his age and what he looks like) then obliterates them when they reject him for it, and demeans women in his own posts and comments. By his own admission, he commits such fraud to gain readership and screw around with underage girls. Commits blog after blog to his growing “poetry” collection, and writes and records his own music.

When I played some of it, our Yorkie ran under the bed and it took the little woman the better part of ten minutes to coax him back out and, in the end, she had to bribe him with bits of sausage. He didn’t do that when we played Danzig or even the Macarena. But this guy wants to be a legend. In fact, he writes about “The Legend of Carroll Bryant” quite frequently and will do almost anything –including writing entirely in red in another failed attempt to shame an entire group of people -to make it happen.

So I had the flu, life as I know it stopped, and I took the Carroll Bryant “You Don’t Know Me!” Challenge. I went to his blogs. I read his words. I read his poetry and listened to his music. I visited his many social media accounts and I can honestly say that the minute you bring Hitler into it you lose by way of Godwin’s law. But just to make things completely clear, I offer the following from Bryant’s own blog and pronounce him proven guilty on every count by his own words and actions. Bryant’s not just any bully. He’s malevolent.

From now on, I think I’ll stick with socks, toasters, strawberries and pterodactyls.

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